A Salute !!

Bangalore – the city that has never ceased to amaze me. It took me 2 years to finally rezendezvous back here. Things have changed but many still remains the same. As mumbaikars go on and sing laurels about the fact that people don’t have time to care for each other, namma bengaluru still has somehow been able to maintain a sweet nonchalance of a small town inspite of the burgeoning metropolis that it has become.

Last Friday night, an incident happened that just left this impression in my mind.

At the sony world signal on my way back from office at around 1 in the night, traffic stood at a standstill. BPO workers, software professionals all in their haste to reach home had made a mess of an all-open signal with the saffron lights flashing. As everyone including me looked for the fastest way out, one lone ford ikon pulled to the curb. A bright young man got out, Bluetooth in his ears, and headed to the middle of the signal. I could bet he was maybe a manager or a senior person in some of the MNC’s around.

Single handedly, he controlled traffic with hand signals and in a matter of minutes , the whole mess was cleared. I thought he would clear way for his line of traffic first and speed of in the car. To my surprise, he waited until the whole jam was cleared, paved way for the traffic in order of the number of vehicles stuck in each direction and made sure the free flow of vehicles in the junction was restored. As I stood nearby on the phone, unwilling to accept my lack of interest in helping the situation, I couldn’t but help salute the man for his spirit.

Namma Bangalore in all these years has come back to me to teach me new things. I always guffawed and dismissed that people are passionate about the city here. Today it stood to prove its point. I guess, it was always on us to make a change. This effort was small but it has left a lasting impact on my mind.

Spare a moment to think about this !!

Two states - the mystery of 4

The milestones went past each month. April 4 2009, the grand landing. Sept 4, 2009 - i flew to chicago and came back on Dec 4 and now March 4 2010 ,Another milestone comes across my pathway. 11 months in what i would call the most impossible place in the world. What sparked off this tirade ? A question from a friend over chai at midnight - : Dude, we did chill out in chennai in our own way..but then im scared i might actually miss this place once i leave it."

Would i now ? 11 months of a hate and more hate relationship in this place. If it ever turned to love or reminiscence, the very fabric of my existence and determinaion that stems not out of my will to progress but just escape from this hell would all tear apart. I tried to brush the thought away from my mind. However like any sensuaous woman who creeps into your thoughts with just one pass across you leaving behind one whizz of that fragrant perfume, chennai kept looming in my mind like a maiden wooing my thoughts back to her. ( Ok , i dint say that now did i ? Jesus Christ, i swear i havent taken any hallucinogens )

Coming back to the point. THe other day on the train, Chetan bhagat filled in with the two states. THought not an ardent fan at all, after the let down in the novels after five point someone and thanks also due to the fact that some of the uncool people i know flash the book around like they just read and understood the bhagavat Gita leaves little to admire in him. Two states though somehow tickled the cynic in me, thanks to the fact that 4 years in Jaipur made me half north indian and my birth gave me the title of a Tam Brahm ( Mr Swaminathan hehe !! christ !! i love Nithin way better ) . Anyways, so we kept discussing on Chetan Bhagat and the book and lo and behold, Chennai with its magic brought forth the typical stereotype.

Curd Rice !!! I used to love this dish when my aunt made it. Now i puke at the very mention. "Ayyo Saar , curd rice sapdunga " . The office looms with people of the same lore, in goes the curd rice and some thokku ( pickle) mixed with some garlic rasam and tamarind sambhar . Viola , enclosed airconditioned software development center and out comes the poisnous gases. Jews in concentration camps got more faourable treatment from hitler. Coincidentaly, some of us indians are aryans too ...thought to ponder on . If not for the culture, we atleast share the same method of murder. "Sapad sapdacha sapdunga " . Three keywords you need to know in the land. Curd rice in the morning, sambhar rice in the afternoon and dal rice in the night...and if a lil space was left pack some chilli rice for snacks. I thought this was a myth before i got here until today a guy spoke for ten minutes on what he ordered at a hotel in a session for communication improvement. For those who said the worst stories about this land of rice.i say - dig this !!!!!

Ask for auto fares " ILLA "
Ask for bacard white rum "ILLA "
Office Airconditioner on " ILLA SIR cooling 29 ile irukku" ( believe it or not , 25 degrees is freezing point in chennai , Rajnikanth couldnt have made something up like that. the omon man does. Which explains the success of SUUUUUUUPPPPERRRRRRRRRRRR STAR movies over here).

youre sweating your ass off and a guy walks across in sweatshirts and mufflers like the was in a chicago winter.

I could ramble on for ever and ever.

Coming back to the question . WOuld i miss chennai ? leme rephrase that

Would i miss near death experiences from asphixiation every afternoon?
Would i miss paying 400 bucks for 5 kms ?
WOuld i miss talking about food all day to my colleagues?
Would i miss becoming so black that id give a black man a run for his money?

I guess i wont. Now that i have answered that..i can sleep in peace... HAIL CHENNAI !!!

P.S:Oh !! if all that dint make you puke....heres the highlight. I know a guy who has whiskey and curd rice !!! dig that !! imagine the whiskey mixing with curd rice and the rotting curd going down your guts !!! the washbasin should be nearby !! adios !!

Reflections !!!

Thoughts do keep flowing ...but so much has been happening around that i never got time to put it to paper. Was i confused enough to make my mind on what i felt?? did i have a story to tell. Dreams do say what you're feeling ;maybe in a confused set of signals that take a deep amount of reflection and comprehension to interpret, but then my consciousness was by itself too hazy by the everyday issues of life. Yes ! i admit, for once i slipped from a dreamy piscean to a normal man thinking of everyday issues. The good thing though is that I'm back.

I read a blog recently on lifestyle and decision making- budgeting, living your life completely and all that jazz. What struck me though was this thought about living your life completely. You always have things you want to do, but then as you grow older the lines entwine and then suddenly the decisions you make affects more and more people. First your parents, then your friends...then your woman and then the family and if your unlucky enough..even the whole world. That what set me thinking. My dreams are back..unpleasant as before. Ive always had them and kind of happy i have them more because i know my mind is working than because it ain't as bad as before.

Yet this is what i was thinking. From being labelled lazy to a workaholic, its been more an issue of perspective than of my own change of leaf. Yet i still contemplate on the decisions i took. More than what it was right for me , was it right for the people who got entwined in it. I really don't know because maybe I'm not really able to make my mind on that, but I'm sure i did try to give my best to one and all. However the other day, someone was labelling me a workaholic. It was a complement and a flattering one indeed. Yet it reappeared in my dreams- a single 8 hour show of my life with a background commentary of things going on in my mind. Unfortunately i awoke with a sweat - because i knew , every moment i was trying only for one person at a time. When i raised one , i lowered another in my set of priorities and in the worst of moments , it was me as the priority when everyone just broke down around me.

I'm not sure whether I'm right about things, because i keep hearing good things. Do i feel good inside is the question?? Maybe and maybe not!! its a thing I'm pondering. Am i a workaholic who sets his energy levels high until he sleeps. Maybe not. n

This is my resolution here!! sitting alone in the US contemplating on the intricacies of life. Ive grown since my last post on this blog..but i still have to ..if i believe in making everyone associated with me to gain a meaning in this association. Last but not the least, i need to see meaning in my own existence.

The question at the end of the day is that though- Have you thought about this??

Do my dreams hold a question for someone else?

Are we all just selfish in looking what what our goals are and are we just pushing for that??

Don't defend...let the good and evil of your mind hold the debate while you're a spectator in observation. Therein lies the true meaning of a reflection on the self. !!!

Bikeosterone !!

There always comes a point in time when , no matter what the echelons of faith inside you , no matter the amount of self belief and determination you hold inside , your mental system falls to all time low. Starved for being liberated by music and starved for the need to find my identity back again , the city of chennai loomed large in front of my eyes, when every blink was made in the hope that somewhere there might be a shining light. Alas that was not to be.
As they say, the Lord is always benovelent and seems to show a path whenever we are caught in a torrent of mental turmoil . The only catch is that we need to recognize its path. A trip to the local chai shop made me delusional. I thought my bike was saying something to me. Must have been the extra revs , but then the engine seemed to be much more eager than usual. Yes i had promised someone i would be in bangalore that night and sure i had suggested my bike as the option. Yet the bus seemed much more endearing to the lazy slouth that chennai had made me. One pat on my belly reminded me the truth, the bitter truth, that i too had become a burping pot-bellied symbol of the city of heavy food, contented living and a slow pace of life. My bike beckoned to me once again. The brakes and clutch which i was sure was not upto the mark just in the evening suddenly seemed to be sharp and precise. The decision was made - It was time to be untamed.....it was time for rediscovery ..of my mind and soul. This was the beggining of one of the best impromptu trips i have ever made.

The Day : 07 August 2009
The time : 0400 AM
The mood : extremely disturbed and tired.
Armed with nothing but a sweater and a T shirt i set out . Google maps of course told me the path to take. Yet i still wasnt sure whether i wanted to go all the way. My tires were as flat as an old mans head, the brakes as unsure as a 60 year old to win a 100 meter dash. Yet i moved on .
A chai at madhya Kailash renewed my vigour and i was ready to take the challenge atleast as far as Sriperumbudur. I thought i might atleast take a few pics at the Rajiv Gadhi Samadhi. My days in chennai were so boring that i never paid attention to the camera i carried. The batteries were all out and my trip was in vain. A cold chilling drive later i landed at Sri perumbudur. The truth came out and my anger knew no bounds.

The thoughts in my mind were of unfathomable anger and frutration. I decided...screw the tires...to hell with the brakes...the bike has a full tank and im on my way. My head reeling in craziness, i sang aloud as i drove - from john denver to the eagles, from lamb of god to 2 pac - Hail Music!!! hadnt it been for you i might not have driven that day. As my throat cleared up and some adrenalin began to flow, the speedometer chugged along and i was cruising.

I stopped at a junction and asked - " Hey Bosss - bangalore entha vazhi" .
The answer was ominus - " ponga Sir !! ore straight six lane highway!! straight bangalore"

Yet I guess the amicable wasnt prepared to give me the whole wide road to myself. Out of nowhere the heavens thundered and it rained like it was the last one the world was to see. With visibility low to barely about 10 meters, and with a sweater on that grew heavier by the minute , i couldnt but curse my luck. Soon enough , the hands grew blue and numb but then i had begun to enjoy the rain. I loved every minute of it. The freedom, the sense of euphoria and happiness that rain gives can never be explained. Speeding at 60 with the raindrops hitting you like razors and visibility to a real low, the journey became all the more exciting and fun. This was what i needed, this was exactly what i wanted.
120 kms into the trip, the rain eased and i slowly started to see the initial signs of the ghats. As the road stood straight and long, the avenger , a true blood cruiser that it is, help its place - firm and low on the road like a gazelle sprinting across the grasslands. The feeling of being one with the bike is yet aother one that nobody except a bike lover can understand. THe feel as you bend and shift your body weight and keep the same speeds as you take the turns, the confidence you feel as the engine revs to overtake with ease and the feeling you get with your arms out streched and wind in your chest is just unbelievable. This was a ride that was set to change my destiny.

As always i made my trip more meorable by mixing with the locals whereever i could. Stops at the local chai shops fed me with stories of myth and wonder. From the local diety to ghost stories to black magic to politicians and folk lore - the villagers discussions in the wee hours of the morning was an amazing treat that just added spice to life. Unfortunately my camera was kaput and i had no option but to absorb as much as i could and commit it to memory. I can still remember the faces of those old men and women weaving out those stories.
220 kilometers and 4 stops later i found myself out of vellore and heading towards krishnagiri - the ghat section which i was waiting for. Though only a few kilometers long, this part was the dessert serving of the whole trip. weaving roads with huge tall mountains of breathtaking beauty on either side and those warning boards of accident zones were all too amazing an experience. Up on the hills and looking at the town below , i couldnt but take in the wonder of nature. A few minutes ago i was feeling like a mortal and suddenly i was feeling like God. I must admit , the avengers punch line was only holding true in this case. I was feeling like GOD himself. Sppeding onward to make up for lost time , i finally reached Hosur where life was brought back to normal in one abrupt turn - back to the traffic and back to the din- electronics city here i come.

A day later i made the trip back home to chennai - uneventful as it was for it never could match the wonder and surprise of the onward trip. I had never imagined travelling so far. Yet as they say - the spirit of man can never be understood for in sudden moments he takes himselves to places unseen with energy unknown - for he is a mortal but his spirit immortal. I do hope this spirit keeps me going on again and make me feel the taste f thunder, rain and sunshine again.
For now my mind is calm still absorbing the serenity of the trip. Yet i am but an untamed animal and i yearn for when my heart starts beating again. My warhorse shall have many roads to conquer and many places to see.
Hail the bikes !! hail the roads and a bow to the Lord !!! Amen !!

NEW WORLD ORDER AND THE JAZZ ...

Aha !!!
Ages later i turn to my lil ol blog to seek solitude again .

The worlds a crazy place alright!! The famous thought again yet foolish because were all convinced he head to our shelters for a while and then rush back in to make a few more bucks , believe in the aforesaid line and then the cycle keeps repeating. Great minds who said marriage is hell got married, people who hated sick jobs and loved entreprenuership suddenly are found working under the very dumbheads they cursed. Hey !!! suddenly the worlds a different place. Someone told me in first year in college that you are what the college makes you. Agreed!! hell what happened to free thought that seemed to exist there or are we the new victims of the new world order.

Well The new world order!!! no you bucha WWF crazy buggers....i aint talking about that ....this is the new world were in ...where youre lucky to find a place to stay for 3K a month and where youre lucky to land up a m,aruti 800 while balancing on the rising inflation.

I seem to have found out a few things to live by !! and escape this mania !!!

1. SLeep less nights in office aint worth it. Fingers are going to be pointed anyways....so screw em anyways...might as well rest my sweet lil posterior and sleep on it than spoil the good time i have anyways. AHEM !!! im still working on this one !!!

2. Girl who loves parks are good.....as i said...inflation is high ..hehe and so is petrol ....

3. Get to the " you dont screw with me fate" mode in life. Every thing that happens is for good. Whats happening is good and what will is for the better . SHAMBHO MAHADEVA!!!

4. DOnt dream about that lil ol house with a cute lil puppy with your girl !!! its freaking 60 lakhs to buy a place to tie a cow man !!!

5. Work out hard !!! - BULLOCKS TO THAT ....hey im running around like a crazed cat as is .....chill out baby !!! spend some time lazing out !!...let those dreams about that babe carry on hehe !!!

6. play some guitar ...its like love

7. ALcohol is good. Period.

8. Think philosophical and psyche the world out with the depth of inner stream conciousness that alter the state of mental anathema and takes yourself to transcedental state of mental delsion that removes the trauma raised by the embellishments of human endurance. Dint understand anything ??? neither did i ??? point is talk big......dont work on raising your knowledge,,,work on your vocab.....If the other guy at work dint understand what you said...hed say ur a genius.Rather than telling the guy-"hey dude !!! check if the tables have the damn values"...say ..."run a sanity check on the database"....dude wouldnt know what the hell to do and your free from trouble while he figures it out....Point is talk big....n work less !!!

9. Dont throw the tattered clothes....gift em to some fashion designer...it could sell for a billion dollars...and you could be rich !!! tattered clothes are in again !!!
10. IF you believed all that jazz....get your ass up....stop dreaming and get back to work....for the world aint fair bro.....ITS the NEW WORLD ORDER my friend !!!

MANNA

The barren sands that need a single drop of fortune
And all the hope the look up to the heavens and pray
A single thought for all the multitudes so poor
And all we can is just look up and stare

The rays that pierce with all of their brightness
And show no sign of the shadow of the clouds
And as we walk and feel the barren mother earth below
All we can do is look up and stare
A single drop to wash the pain
A single drop to ease this sadness
A single drop to raise up life
And its just what we'd die to see

The droplets that would bring a ray of new found joy
on the palms let there be new fortunes drawn
If just a few drops would fall down and quench
The thirst of the mother earth that lies parched

Hope, the mother of all emotions that we believe
The one that leads us on and on and on
We still walk and feel the mother earth below
And all we can do is look up and ask

A single drop to wash the pain
A single drop to ease this sadness
A single drop to raise up life
And its just what we'd die to see

Lost System Dimensions (LSD)

Done with the twilights, erasing the starlight’s,
The visions twirl and resurrect now
Bygone is patience; it’s a heartbeat to stop you
But still they stand and wait in tow.

The beats that still wait from far away
Counting down to my utter dismay
The soul that stirs from the strings tonight
Bleeding forth to a new day!! Yeah!! Yeah!!

I am so pure and I am so true
Yet I am the cosmic storm
Switch down your mind but still its bright cause
I am bringer of the light!!!


Racing for the space below, craving for the lights above
The end is just like the horizon
Listful the world now, but still it can’t stop me
And still they stand and stare in awe

You said they’ll be here any minute
And stay for the final destination
The skies just seem empty and bright
No sign of the other dimension!! Yeah!! Yeah!!

I am so pure and I am so true
Yet I am the cosmic storm
Switch down your mind but still its bright cause
I am bringer of the light!!!