Serenity her name, a delusion so tame,
She stood tough times, determined to stand
A salty tear down my mane, seeing the game,
The maiden pitted against the beast.
Softness of eve painted in those colourful cheeks,
Tenderness woven into those sweet hands,
Friendly love pouring from that crimson heart,
She took me by storm and released me into calm.
The gait so careless, emotions so selfless,
Serendipity seemed so faultless.
Anarchy of the soul won over by the calm,
We marched on, siblings in friendship.
Alas! Young Lucifer, you walked again,
Threatening the heavenly beauty with hellish vice
Rupturing emotions with a bargain,
Of vile love that never just would suffice.
Humankind saw forth with eyes so green,
Doubting the emotion that stood so serene,
Polluting it with their inner minds filth,
Torturing the heart with unknown guilt.
Truth does not stand till the end,
Contortions determining the final bend.
Friendship does not stand the test
Which man can’t see, just stand and detest.
I tell thee, Lucifer, I stand with this heavenliness,
Pollute me with all thy vileness,
For the heavens don’t thunder with a cats purr,
But with a roar that makes the vilest stutter.
There ain’t a devil that can beat these bars,
Its heavenly friendship that I stand strongly on,
Come forth with all thy vice and lies,
I’ll stand thee strong through all the testing times.
*========================*
Friday, July 13, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
THE HOMECOMING
I swept along , belied by the inner tranquility; the incessant drone of dreams pulling me down under as the inner cortex of my brain gave way to the seduction of slumber.
A swish of the wind broke my journey short and i awoke to the stormy winds. It wasnt the dream but the fear of reality that woke me up . Quickly shutting down the winds through the pane i prepared to move on ; on from the painful drudgery and cruelty i unwillingly gave into. It was another day , another day to traverse before i lulled my way to dreamland. My safe security was a light year away.
Childhood spankings had always had me waking from my slumber with a jerk, a jerk induced by fear that left a fatigue in me that never released me no matter how deep or how long my slumber was. It showed on my face as i prepared for the day ,the dirtied scratched reflection showing the face devoid of emotions. Devoid was a misinterpretation, it was rather the result of fears being caged. The homecoming was not far off, it was hardly an hour away. There was nothing to fear now, i thought i was finally back home, and i dint have to wait long before i felt secure.
Reminiscence has always been the hallmark of human existence, a sense long deprived of as i walked those aisles down the ship.Life with its angelic hue had overthrown the articulate senses that had long been the mainstay of my emotional existence. A thorn that grew into a dagger, lifes events shaping my thought and ambition to further the delusions that i already suffering from.
"Rafael Marcus" the badge announced proudly as i walked that aisle down to the warm embrace of my beloved.The warmth just an elusive perception , the heat of passion seemed more eloquent. Ablutions have always been to cleanse, restoring the purity of the mind, sometimes the soul and in cases even the emotions that wash out the regret and pain that shapes the human thought process. A certain necessity of the human think tank has always been these humane actions that sometimes just comes out of nowhere and then just bonks out to tell you who you are .Decisions taken to reshape the future arent just all about your physical lives but rather the mental thought as well . It was this rediscovery that this odeyssey of a homecoming brought forth before me . Was i prepared for this ?
Everything seemed so different. The pain and agony of oppression had taken its toll . i stood waiting to see that blood rush in me as i met my kin.There was none. The passion which i had seen just a while back on the ship was nowhere in my people and this disturbed me . i stood a mental outlaw to the forsaken of the yesteryears .
The nights in the security of the house raised heartfelt nightmares. my pillow reminded me of the bodies i clutched in this slush for heat in those cold mountains. There wasnt any space for emotions left. She lay frustrated , years of waiting dwindling in those tears . Responsibilty on one side and a weakened heart on the other, one eroded by the strength shown before. i went a human and came back a zombie, incapable of those little significant emotional cascades.
The world outside showed me no respite inspite of my firm belief that some fresh air would do me good. My ears still boomed with those screams, my heart unconcerned about the bustle around. The sweet mangoes never seemed so green yet it didnt entice me. i came home , my mind absymaly disturbed. Maybe the odessey proved too taxing. As i sat i realised i needed to move on to eternal peace.
As i sit , roughly 15 minutes from my rezendevous with peace, something i know from those long times with dying comrades, i am no longer scared to admit
"Rafael Marcus , the man who neved feared the enemy , now perished in fear of being emotionless" .
Yes the war and the discipline had changed me . Take me home to heaven now - this is my homecoming.
A swish of the wind broke my journey short and i awoke to the stormy winds. It wasnt the dream but the fear of reality that woke me up . Quickly shutting down the winds through the pane i prepared to move on ; on from the painful drudgery and cruelty i unwillingly gave into. It was another day , another day to traverse before i lulled my way to dreamland. My safe security was a light year away.
Childhood spankings had always had me waking from my slumber with a jerk, a jerk induced by fear that left a fatigue in me that never released me no matter how deep or how long my slumber was. It showed on my face as i prepared for the day ,the dirtied scratched reflection showing the face devoid of emotions. Devoid was a misinterpretation, it was rather the result of fears being caged. The homecoming was not far off, it was hardly an hour away. There was nothing to fear now, i thought i was finally back home, and i dint have to wait long before i felt secure.
Reminiscence has always been the hallmark of human existence, a sense long deprived of as i walked those aisles down the ship.Life with its angelic hue had overthrown the articulate senses that had long been the mainstay of my emotional existence. A thorn that grew into a dagger, lifes events shaping my thought and ambition to further the delusions that i already suffering from.
"Rafael Marcus" the badge announced proudly as i walked that aisle down to the warm embrace of my beloved.The warmth just an elusive perception , the heat of passion seemed more eloquent. Ablutions have always been to cleanse, restoring the purity of the mind, sometimes the soul and in cases even the emotions that wash out the regret and pain that shapes the human thought process. A certain necessity of the human think tank has always been these humane actions that sometimes just comes out of nowhere and then just bonks out to tell you who you are .Decisions taken to reshape the future arent just all about your physical lives but rather the mental thought as well . It was this rediscovery that this odeyssey of a homecoming brought forth before me . Was i prepared for this ?
Everything seemed so different. The pain and agony of oppression had taken its toll . i stood waiting to see that blood rush in me as i met my kin.There was none. The passion which i had seen just a while back on the ship was nowhere in my people and this disturbed me . i stood a mental outlaw to the forsaken of the yesteryears .
The nights in the security of the house raised heartfelt nightmares. my pillow reminded me of the bodies i clutched in this slush for heat in those cold mountains. There wasnt any space for emotions left. She lay frustrated , years of waiting dwindling in those tears . Responsibilty on one side and a weakened heart on the other, one eroded by the strength shown before. i went a human and came back a zombie, incapable of those little significant emotional cascades.
The world outside showed me no respite inspite of my firm belief that some fresh air would do me good. My ears still boomed with those screams, my heart unconcerned about the bustle around. The sweet mangoes never seemed so green yet it didnt entice me. i came home , my mind absymaly disturbed. Maybe the odessey proved too taxing. As i sat i realised i needed to move on to eternal peace.
As i sit , roughly 15 minutes from my rezendevous with peace, something i know from those long times with dying comrades, i am no longer scared to admit
"Rafael Marcus , the man who neved feared the enemy , now perished in fear of being emotionless" .
Yes the war and the discipline had changed me . Take me home to heaven now - this is my homecoming.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
60 Till I Die
This was an excerpt from my diary that i typed out long ago....but then now it seems so hillarious that i thought...ill post it...its fun to see how life unfolds...!!!
So here goes
current Mood:- hmmm...got to choose between irritated and frustrated
current Music :- Broken - 12 stones
current typing speed: - bang bang bang
Sporadic events have been shaping up my life.Thanks to a newly found "corporate" upbringing , i find myself sitting in outings wonderin whats going and listening to the inherent abuses being hurled around thanks to the effect of the lil old sweet liquor.
While the good old days of pubbing in bangalore seem so far away , this newly found "meetings" seem to make me feel older . Man , im just 22 runnning for 23, why the hell am i sitting down like some bozo whose almost 60 and yapping about life like hes gonna die tomorrow.
Times change i guess. I guess modernitywas thought to have made man younger than older .In college , it was like," man if i had the money to go to a pub". Today when i have that money, neither is there a woman ready to go and the guys are happy sitting and doing "bakar" and discussing the newest female in office while the coulda as well been headbanging to some hard rock.
Wonder why this change has happened though. Na it cant be the overdose of work. If it were people woulda been smoking packs a day , rather ciggarettes are going down . Ive been trying to put this pub plan to our brotherhood for the last month. Yet the 10 others , which include 4 magnificient ladies, have sincerely objected to it. It hasnt been direct but rather put aside for plans to go n have coffee or reserving tickets for "AAP KA SUROOR "
COming to "AAP KA SUROOR- a world wide hit" , how does one proclaim that when the info for it hadnt come out at all. Guess they already made the trailers before the movie was made. Talk about self confidence. Wonder why people like HR at all.
Well frustrating outings later, after a near suicide in "Chini Kam" and "Bheja Fry " which according to certain people are amazing movies, and after a near homicide at talks over "on the rocks" , life aint seeming to change . Nyone out there in hyderabad, ready to go pubbing....
well you got a partner here .
cause i dont want to end up
60 till I die
So here goes
current Mood:- hmmm...got to choose between irritated and frustrated
current Music :- Broken - 12 stones
current typing speed: - bang bang bang
Sporadic events have been shaping up my life.Thanks to a newly found "corporate" upbringing , i find myself sitting in outings wonderin whats going and listening to the inherent abuses being hurled around thanks to the effect of the lil old sweet liquor.
While the good old days of pubbing in bangalore seem so far away , this newly found "meetings" seem to make me feel older . Man , im just 22 runnning for 23, why the hell am i sitting down like some bozo whose almost 60 and yapping about life like hes gonna die tomorrow.
Times change i guess. I guess modernitywas thought to have made man younger than older .In college , it was like," man if i had the money to go to a pub". Today when i have that money, neither is there a woman ready to go and the guys are happy sitting and doing "bakar" and discussing the newest female in office while the coulda as well been headbanging to some hard rock.
Wonder why this change has happened though. Na it cant be the overdose of work. If it were people woulda been smoking packs a day , rather ciggarettes are going down . Ive been trying to put this pub plan to our brotherhood for the last month. Yet the 10 others , which include 4 magnificient ladies, have sincerely objected to it. It hasnt been direct but rather put aside for plans to go n have coffee or reserving tickets for "AAP KA SUROOR "
COming to "AAP KA SUROOR- a world wide hit" , how does one proclaim that when the info for it hadnt come out at all. Guess they already made the trailers before the movie was made. Talk about self confidence. Wonder why people like HR at all.
Well frustrating outings later, after a near suicide in "Chini Kam" and "Bheja Fry " which according to certain people are amazing movies, and after a near homicide at talks over "on the rocks" , life aint seeming to change . Nyone out there in hyderabad, ready to go pubbing....
well you got a partner here .
cause i dont want to end up
60 till I die
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