SHADOWS OF EVOLUTION

Gene's are indeed all that determines a man's life- his character , personality , likes and dislikes. I never paid a thought to the fact that i am indeed a reflection of what traits my forefathers bore. In the mad race for individualism i rarely paid close attention to the fact that i never could actually achieve what i wanted because i could not run away from what i was and heck no i am not frustrated about it .Rather i stand in awe at God's manifestation of man .

Sometimes you just come down to yourself , sit down on that lonely bed in an abyss of a room where thoughts are easily met than words and emotional and mental trauma is lost in a torrent of philosophical idealogy. This a again where i find myself after a similar downpour of subdued feelings.

There are certain things you want to be and dont want to be. There was distinctly one thing i wanted to be - MYSELF. I tried to do everything i could. Yeah in my formative years i did ape every role model of mine but as i grew out of my early teenage and crossed 10th grade i could feel a distinct set of priciples ( or the lack of it :) ) grow strongly inside me. i felt a standard reaction for a standard event; a certain difference in opinion time and again. That was when i started to feel this surge of individualism. Yet that was then and this is now , 5 years later.

I was talking to a close friend when i was asked a question- how is it that you "shamelessly " walked with your worst enemy into the college canteen today. I was lost for an answer.I just allowed the question to pass. Lost for an answer i returned to my room perturbed with what people thought about me. Not that i didnt care but more because i really bothered a lot about this friend. Incidentally my enemity with this "friend" came up from a certain problem between them into which i was involved. Again not my fault but then i was'nt in good terms with him either. today i walked into the canteen hand in hand with him as the world watched in surprise.

My dad used to always tell me that the greatest talent in a man is to forgive and forget. A thought i detested primarily because i felt we were human and not of the godly type. I never realised that while i outwardly opposed the ideaology , deep inside i was already putting it into action.Unknowingly i sincerely forgave every sin with all of my heart. While my dad who practiced what he preached, and got the nickname of " buddha " , i walked scot free just because of my unconcious hypocricy. Today i plead guilty, a guilt thats more to be proud of than shameful. As i look back i see the best friends have been those i have forgiven. Travesing the principles and ethics by which i lived , i stand friendly to one and many. Though with a touch of arrogance, i do state this primarily because i forgave without realising that i was forgiving . It was too natural to knowingly do it .

Another fact was that i did a lot for my friends and rarely found myself refusing the most utopian of demands made of me. Putting my work aside i plunged in to help many a guy , quite a few of them who used me . Again i ridiculed my dad for helping people and getting cheated in the pursuit of social work. He never listened to me much but went on with the way he was. I never realised that it was not that he didnt want to change but that was who he was. A person who lived for others. Selfishly i do understand that i am indeed the greatest benefactor of this trait. TOday as i prepare to head home, i can already hear my moms advice ringing in my ear :- " dont allow yourself to be used; where there is money there are friends."

Again a reflection of my dad in me.

As i look deeper into my thoughts, my actions i see a greater influence embedded in me. Not that it was all by words but rather something that was in me from long back. My actions, my spendthriftness, my callousness, my love, my care all but a fraciton of what my dad had. Sometimes i look a couple of years back and see how i have changed and i think life has moulded me more into the person i wanted to be - MY DAD.

My moms anger , her intelligence, her reactions all have found a part in me . Yet my dads character seems to be more pronounced.

I used to look at myself and feel that i was a complete man. Noone ridiculed me and everyone wanted to be me. In this dreary desert i find my self a subject of ridule .

With everyday i find greater mistakes pointed put in me. afinegr pointing from all sides. Sometimes love and affection is tested by strong words of distrught and actions of contempt. Yet through all this i find my wounds assuaged by the fact that i have indeed become a lot like what i wanted to be. COntent at this thought yet discontent and sad at the way my affection is treated , i move on . For its in my genes to pursue , win and survive and to have to will not to succumb.

DAD MOM I LOVE YOU FOR MAKING ME WHO I AM ...WHETHER GOOD OR BAD.

GOD BLESS ENGINEERS

In a period of garralous times that i have endured ...when i even stopped blogging....there was a mail i could not resist. it was from a good friend called abhinandan t popularly known in out circles as the 't' man. it just showed me how proud i should be for that fact that in 6 months i can call myself a chemical engineer.

read on

Award Winning Joke

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in

a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an

Indian......


A MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up


their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, the


Engineer wakes his MBA friend.


"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."


The Engineer asks "What does that tell you?"


The MBA ponders for a minute:


"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are


millions of galaxies and potentially billions of


planets.


Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.


Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter


past three.


Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful


and we are small and insignificant.


Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful


day tomorrow.


What does it tell you?"


The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then


speaks.


"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".