THE HOMECOMING

I swept along , belied by the inner tranquility; the incessant drone of dreams pulling me down under as the inner cortex of my brain gave way to the seduction of slumber.

A swish of the wind broke my journey short and i awoke to the stormy winds. It wasnt the dream but the fear of reality that woke me up . Quickly shutting down the winds through the pane i prepared to move on ; on from the painful drudgery and cruelty i unwillingly gave into. It was another day , another day to traverse before i lulled my way to dreamland. My safe security was a light year away.

Childhood spankings had always had me waking from my slumber with a jerk, a jerk induced by fear that left a fatigue in me that never released me no matter how deep or how long my slumber was. It showed on my face as i prepared for the day ,the dirtied scratched reflection showing the face devoid of emotions. Devoid was a misinterpretation, it was rather the result of fears being caged. The homecoming was not far off, it was hardly an hour away. There was nothing to fear now, i thought i was finally back home, and i dint have to wait long before i felt secure.

Reminiscence has always been the hallmark of human existence, a sense long deprived of as i walked those aisles down the ship.Life with its angelic hue had overthrown the articulate senses that had long been the mainstay of my emotional existence. A thorn that grew into a dagger, lifes events shaping my thought and ambition to further the delusions that i already suffering from.

"Rafael Marcus" the badge announced proudly as i walked that aisle down to the warm embrace of my beloved.The warmth just an elusive perception , the heat of passion seemed more eloquent. Ablutions have always been to cleanse, restoring the purity of the mind, sometimes the soul and in cases even the emotions that wash out the regret and pain that shapes the human thought process. A certain necessity of the human think tank has always been these humane actions that sometimes just comes out of nowhere and then just bonks out to tell you who you are .Decisions taken to reshape the future arent just all about your physical lives but rather the mental thought as well . It was this rediscovery that this odeyssey of a homecoming brought forth before me . Was i prepared for this ?

Everything seemed so different. The pain and agony of oppression had taken its toll . i stood waiting to see that blood rush in me as i met my kin.There was none. The passion which i had seen just a while back on the ship was nowhere in my people and this disturbed me . i stood a mental outlaw to the forsaken of the yesteryears .

The nights in the security of the house raised heartfelt nightmares. my pillow reminded me of the bodies i clutched in this slush for heat in those cold mountains. There wasnt any space for emotions left. She lay frustrated , years of waiting dwindling in those tears . Responsibilty on one side and a weakened heart on the other, one eroded by the strength shown before. i went a human and came back a zombie, incapable of those little significant emotional cascades.

The world outside showed me no respite inspite of my firm belief that some fresh air would do me good. My ears still boomed with those screams, my heart unconcerned about the bustle around. The sweet mangoes never seemed so green yet it didnt entice me. i came home , my mind absymaly disturbed. Maybe the odessey proved too taxing. As i sat i realised i needed to move on to eternal peace.

As i sit , roughly 15 minutes from my rezendevous with peace, something i know from those long times with dying comrades, i am no longer scared to admit

"Rafael Marcus , the man who neved feared the enemy , now perished in fear of being emotionless" .

Yes the war and the discipline had changed me . Take me home to heaven now - this is my homecoming.