Reflections !!!

Thoughts do keep flowing ...but so much has been happening around that i never got time to put it to paper. Was i confused enough to make my mind on what i felt?? did i have a story to tell. Dreams do say what you're feeling ;maybe in a confused set of signals that take a deep amount of reflection and comprehension to interpret, but then my consciousness was by itself too hazy by the everyday issues of life. Yes ! i admit, for once i slipped from a dreamy piscean to a normal man thinking of everyday issues. The good thing though is that I'm back.

I read a blog recently on lifestyle and decision making- budgeting, living your life completely and all that jazz. What struck me though was this thought about living your life completely. You always have things you want to do, but then as you grow older the lines entwine and then suddenly the decisions you make affects more and more people. First your parents, then your friends...then your woman and then the family and if your unlucky enough..even the whole world. That what set me thinking. My dreams are back..unpleasant as before. Ive always had them and kind of happy i have them more because i know my mind is working than because it ain't as bad as before.

Yet this is what i was thinking. From being labelled lazy to a workaholic, its been more an issue of perspective than of my own change of leaf. Yet i still contemplate on the decisions i took. More than what it was right for me , was it right for the people who got entwined in it. I really don't know because maybe I'm not really able to make my mind on that, but I'm sure i did try to give my best to one and all. However the other day, someone was labelling me a workaholic. It was a complement and a flattering one indeed. Yet it reappeared in my dreams- a single 8 hour show of my life with a background commentary of things going on in my mind. Unfortunately i awoke with a sweat - because i knew , every moment i was trying only for one person at a time. When i raised one , i lowered another in my set of priorities and in the worst of moments , it was me as the priority when everyone just broke down around me.

I'm not sure whether I'm right about things, because i keep hearing good things. Do i feel good inside is the question?? Maybe and maybe not!! its a thing I'm pondering. Am i a workaholic who sets his energy levels high until he sleeps. Maybe not. n

This is my resolution here!! sitting alone in the US contemplating on the intricacies of life. Ive grown since my last post on this blog..but i still have to ..if i believe in making everyone associated with me to gain a meaning in this association. Last but not the least, i need to see meaning in my own existence.

The question at the end of the day is that though- Have you thought about this??

Do my dreams hold a question for someone else?

Are we all just selfish in looking what what our goals are and are we just pushing for that??

Don't defend...let the good and evil of your mind hold the debate while you're a spectator in observation. Therein lies the true meaning of a reflection on the self. !!!